B n Q - For that Beauty to Shine!

Children need positive inputs from adults, as these inputs will then greatly impact their future. They depend on the adults around them for 'positive leadership'.

As responsible adults, parents need to set good examples every day although they face various challenges themselves.

Some parents feel that their children need to be able to feel the disappointment because of their own wrong choices. This is so that they will self correct next time.

This is actually a form of 'positive' punishment. Parents enforcing a 'positive' punishment will not try to correct their children's faults.

Children need 'positive' encouragements when they make progress in their learning process. Supportive parents know that this will help their children to be optismis.

Positive inputs does not spoil a child. It helps the child to grow well physically, mentally and spiritually.

All children's learning process starts at home. Good parental support and help can bring out the best in every child. Young children learn and progress better with the help of the adults they trust and respect.

Why do experts believe that parents are their children?s best learning companions?

•    Undivided attention

As parents, you give your undivided attention to your children. You always find time to be with them. You care for their needs because they are young. You know they need your protection. Your undivided attention is their greatest emotional support.

•  One to one relationship

You are unique because you are able to establish a one to one relationship with your child easily. As you grow to know your child, you will feel a special bond between the two of you. Nobody else can establish such special relationship with your child. This also helps to build physical closeness and emotional experience for both children and parents.

•       Building mutual language and common reference

The special bond parents have with their children built a mutual language and common reference with their children. They can easily use this mutual understanding to help their children in the process of learning new skills every now and then. Having this special common reference, children would feel confident with their learning.

•       Praises are cherished

As your children are with you at home most of the time, they can only receive praises from you. These praises are cherished and sought after every time a new skill is learnt. Praises from parents are forever treasured by children. These precious moments are the ones they reflect on later.

• Create suitable sharing moments

Parents know when and how to create sharing moments with their children. Children will always look forward to the moments. Their eagerness to learn is coupled with the need to have a wiser learning companion.  Your past experience makes you a wise and sensible learning companion.

• Children respond better to adults they trust        

This is very true. Children do not feel shy when they are learning with the people they trust. They make mistakes, but able to correct them when reprimanded gently by their loving parents. Parents always radiate a sense of affection to their children. No matter how strict some parents are, they are the ones young children turn to.  Children share a bond with their parents, a mutual language that people outside the circle would not understand.

•     Less pressure with parents

Unlike learning under the guidance of a teacher, children learn better even with their strict parents. Most parents are quite patient even when their children make mistakes. They laugh over the mistakes and encourage their children to go on. They do not stop to nag. Children thrive in this learning environment.   

•     Can identify learning problems and get professional help

Early detection in learning problems can help a child in overcoming his learning difficulties later. Usually parents who spend time learning with their children will be able to identify the problems. They will immediately seek professional helps and this in turn will enable their children to learn normally later with their peers.

•    'Always there' reminder

Children's early childhood learning process is always rest assured by the fact that their parents are always there for them. This gives them an air of confidence to continue to explore and learn new things everyday. 

 
Children who have learned with the help from their parents always show better results in all fields. To them, learning is fun and enjoyable. They will not stop learning. They also like to share what they have learned with their peers.

Do you, as a parent believe that your child is smart and intelligent? There is only one way for you to find out. Sacrifice some time everyday to explore and learn with them. Children grow up very fast. If you miss the chance of becoming their learning partner when they are young, you have missed the opportunity to be the most important person in their lives!

Young children are always fascinated by books. Even if they cannot read, they wanted to be seen with books because they saw their parents and older siblings reading. Now, that is a great influence.

Yet, many parents are complaining that they could not get their children to read! Why? Yes, some parents are too afraid to encourage reading at a young age. They fear that by doing so, their children may dislike reading later. That is not true. Parents will wait forever if they want to wait for their children to have the 'reading readiness' first.   

There is no fixed rule about 'learning readiness' or teaching to read. When a child is not ready, he can still be exposed to words and names of objects around him. There is nothing wrong to read together with him. Even if he just stares at the pictures, read to him the story.

                Most parents will expose their children to the letters in the alphabet system. The reading process can begin even before a child learns and recognizes letters. However, knowing the alphabet is not the only way to start your child in reading. 

                Reading together with your child is another way to expose the young mind to reading. The child will be fascinated with simple words. Road signs, big advert signs and other simple words that are posted in public places can be taught to a child every day. Do not be surprised when the young learner reads aloud signs he sees on a trip to town.

                All children have keen and active minds and are able to recall simple keywords they were exposed to earlier. The fascination with printed words will set in as they learn more words and the meanings. Very soon, they can easily recognize simple phrases.

               Reading aloud together helps a child to emphasize his reading, listening and speaking skills later. Your child may be able to recognize and recall keywords and names that are familiar to him. He may want to know where these words are in a printed page. Point out the words to him. It will thrill the child to find similar words in other pages too.

              Reading together with your child opens a new door to explore new 'things' together. Your child will feel the excitement as he listens to your stories. He wants to be able to read too, to extract meanings from print in books.

             Every child has a different learning pattern. What works with your neighbors' children may not work well with your own. Do not force your child to read if he does not want to. The child is just not ready yet.

             Every child can begin reading without a real measure of readiness. Some parents wait until their children are about to attend school before teaching them reading. Some started as soon as their children can talk. No matter when you start, your child needs your help along the way.

            Be gentle and patient when your child is not interested in reading yet. You can still introduce him picture books and road signs. Do not feel despair. At this time, you need to provide plenty of learning opportunities. Be an all time supportive parent. Encourage your child to explore. Take delight in your child's discoveries and progresses.

            Respect your child as a 'reader' even though he is only a beginner. To your child, reading may be something he does at a certain time of the day. Give him the attention. Read with him. Your child may be interested on in the story at first, but later, when he starts to recognize simple words, he will want to read with you.  

            When your child is already all excited about reading, do not let the excitement die away. Share a book with him. Rereading the same stories is a way to reinforce his newfound knowledge. Children do not feel bored even if they listen to the same stories over and over again. They learn new things as the story are reread again.

            When your child is reading, keep in mind, he is trying his best to sound like you! He remembers and recalls how you pronounce each word. You do not have to make it 'word perfect' during his first few attempts in reading. Doing so will only increase his fear in reading.

               Stock up a small library of books suitable for your children's reading level. When your child is able to read on his own, he will want to read all day. By then, you will have a good library of books for him to indulge in.

                It is always great to be your child's first reading partner, before he attends school. You and the young learner will have a lot to explore together.

Children love 'heroes'. In fact, every child has his/her very own 'hero'. The 'hero' may change as a child grows, however, the admiration for someone is still there. Parents always complain their children never look up to them as the heroes. Yet, what did the parents do while their children were growing up?

Here are some simple advises from a parent:

1.  Set good examples

All children are great observers. They observe and learn from the people around them especially their parents and siblings. They do not choose and pick in this learning process.

Their innocent minds are always learning and growing. As adults, you know what is right and wrong, but as children, they do not. As their parents and guardians, you have the right to be ?good? and ?living? examples.

2.  Actions speak the loudest

When you promise your children something, fulfill the promise as soon as possible. Do not think just because they are children, they would not remember what you have said yesterday.

Children have good memories. They can remember even what you have said some time ago, when you have long forgotten it. They can be mischievous too. They know their parents? weakness more than anyone else. They use the weakness to get the attention for themselves.

When you have promised your children to do something for them or with them, get it done. You do not want to live with the guilt of lying to your children. Be what you want your children to follow. When they see an action, they remember it for life.

3.  Cut out swearing words from your vocabulary.

Some parents revealed that they could not help themselves. They have lived with the words all their lives. These words are not so nice to the ears.

Children learn fast. They never stop to ask if the words are acceptable or not. By the time you realized it, your children may have been reprimanded many times in school.

A hero never swears. If you feel the need to, replace the swearing words with something else ?? count one to ten or take a few deep breaths.

4.  Spend quality time with family

Children grow up very fast. However, they do not forget fast enough. They will always wonder why you are so busy all the time. If you just spend an hour a day with them, those hours in their growing years are the most precious in their lives. You do not have to buy any expensive toys or clothes for them. They just need your quality time and undivided attention.

Do something with them. Watch a television program, read a short story together, carpentering, gardening, etc. You can even start a hobby with their children.

These are simple actions that are precious to them.

5.  Avoid gambling

Parents who gamble find their children follow their footsteps soon enough. At first, the children just want to know why their parents like gambling. Then when the excitement sets in, they are already heavy gamblers.

Gambling destroys. When possible, point this out to your children. If you are a gambler, stop now when you can. Your children will learn from you when to stop before it is too late.

6.  Avoid gossiping and complaining in front of your children

Parents always find it never easy to shut their mouth in front of their children.  They do not really mind complaining and gossiping in front of their children! However, children are good duplicators. They just repeat what they heard even if they do not know the meaning of the words.

You will find it embarrassing if your children repeat what you said about your neighbors to them! Do not blame your children for their innocence. Blame yourself for not being careful.

7.  Instill in them the good values you have learnt

You have the responsible to pass on the good values to your children. You have the right to do so because you want them to grow up to be responsible people. Remember, your children carry on your name and bloodline. It is good that they know the difference between black and white and grey while they are young.

8.  Teach them about love and kindness 

Young children do not know what is love and kindness. Unless you explain and show them the acts, they will never know. That is why you have to be the first and good example.

9. Praise your children for their little achievements

Parents should always praise their children, even if the achievement is too small to be noticed. To a child, that is encouragement. It will help to build their confidence and good attitude. However, do not overdo it.

10. Reprimand your children when they do wrong

Some parents think doing so they will not be able to be their children's "heroes". This is very wrong. Children who muddled up ought to be reprimanded immediately. If not, the confusion will grow with them. They will blame you for not telling them off when they were young.

Children are seedlings. They need to be showered by attention, love, values and many good things. They cannot get them anywhere else except from you, their parents. So, do something about it, heroes! So when they grow into strong plants, they will still up upon you as their true "heroes".

Every parent wants and hopes hard that his/her child brings home report cards with flying colors. Yet, some parents may see their hopes shatter. Frustrated parents are quick to fly into bad temper. They see no reasons why their children cannot do as well as other children.

 Every child is a natural achiever. Children learn fast and absorb new knowledge hungrily. Unless there are problems, every child usually excels in academic and sports.

Parents have the same fear as they watch their children growing up. When their children show disinterest in learning or education, they are very disturbed.

Research tells us that children take time to develop their knowledge, attitude and skills. Let us explore why children are afraid of learning. One of the reasons is; children always feel they are learning everything on their own. They feel lonely in the process of learning. They feel they do not have the freedom to do things they like.

 Have you seen children playing home? Two will be the parents; the others play the roles of children. They will always play the scene of a meal time. Mother and children are cooking while the father is reading something. Children picture 'family' as only during a meal time.  

 Do not let this to happen. Children like to copy what the people around them do. As they spend most of their time at home, they will observe and copy what their parents do. They will reproduce what they hear and see in games they play among themselves.

 Since you want your children to be interested in learning, you have to create ways to actively include learning in your profession and everyday life. Do not stop learning.

 When your children see you actively learning something new, they will want to learn with you. This will be a great chance to lead by example.

          As you include learning in your profession, you dramatically increase your career advancement opportunities. This will increase your professional fulfillment that will in a way benefit your children and you yourself.

Your children will be able to see that learning continuously is reaping in great returns. You get to spend more time with them as well as advancing into your profession. That is something your children will be proud of all the time.

Even those small common items in everyday life can be great subject to learn together. Get yourself connected to the internet or buy a set of encyclopedia. Look up for their information together. You will be surprised how much you will gain from the information.

Write your notes on papers. You will get your children to write with you eagerly too. At a younger age, they may think holding a pencil and scratching on a piece of paper is fun. However, as they grow older, writing will be one of the ways they express themselves.

Get your children to keep a diary. Encourage them by doing so yourself. There are many things you can do together with your children that promote learning.

Soon, you will be able to see the result. Your children will be interested in learning themselves without your prompts.

Every child learns in his/her own special way. There is such a thing call 'learning readiness' in every child and adult. Some children learn readily because they are taught so early in life. Some children refuse to learn because they are not ready to do so. Others do not have the opportunity at all.  

As a parent, you want to be your children's best friend. You see your children as your reflections. You see hope and future in them. You want to invest in these hopes. There are many successful business people and famous politicians as well as great leaders. Yet, there are not many successful parents.

Do you know that parents are actually their children's best role models? Yes, a child does not have to look far for someone to be his idol. You, as a parent can be your children?s idol.

How can that be done? Some of the ways are listed here.

• Stop complaining in front of your children. Too much complains spoil the atmosphere. Your children may even feel angry because there is no more ?fun? when you and your spouse are at home. The resentment will build up.
• Pay attention to your image when you are with your children. Leave your work problems in the office. Be a parent at home. Enjoy the moment with your children. You do not get the chance any more once they reach their teenage years!
•   Show your enthusiastic towards their learning and education. When possible, learn with them. Do not lecture your children when they are not doing well academically. Every child has his 'learning readiness'. It will take some time for a child to be able to absorb what is taught. Be patient. If your child does not understand a concept, explain to him. Do not show your frustration.
•  Take the time to find out what your children like. Children love doing things with their parents. Do you know all children love to be seen with their parents? That will be their fondest memory.
•   Let your children help with the housework even though you have a maid. Making your children do some household chores make them feel they belong to the family. This helps to bring out some realization that their parents have great responsibilities. They will feel right to share the burden.
• Share your problems with your children. Ask them for their opinions. Do not share your work problem, of course. Just share some daily problems like, who is going to care for their youngest brother when you and your spouse are away for a meeting. You will be surprise with the outcome!
• Be empathy to your children's problems. They may face problems in school or have problems with friends. Do not pass on your judgment. Children just want a listener not a problem solver. Do not interfere with your children and their friends? arguments. They know how to get things settled without your intervention.

Your children know how much you love them. They will be happier when you do things with them rather than for them. As a role model, do all that you can and show your enthusiastic in helping them to find out more about themselves!